Confidence is Built, Not Born

Action leads to confidence — not the other way around!

Have you ever caught yourself saying, “I’ll do it when I feel more confident”?

Join the club. It’s a big one, full of brave women waiting for the perfect moment. I used to be president.

But here’s the truth: confidence doesn’t come before the doing. It comes because of it.

I still remember the first time I helped someone using hypnotherapy. I had the training. I had the tools. But inside? I was quietly freaking out.

A whispering voice asked: “What if you mess it up? What if it doesn’t work?”

But then another voice, one that sounded a lot like growth, asked: “What if you help them?”

Spoiler alert: I did. And it changed everything. Not just for them, but for me, too.

If you’re waiting to feel “ready,” here’s your permission slip to begin anyway:

Ready is a myth. Brave is a choice.

Waiting until we feel ready is often just a beautifully disguised form of fear. And in midlife, when change is constant and identity can feel like it’s shifting under our feet, that fear can feel especially loud.

• Maybe you’re starting something new.

• Maybe you’re restarting after a long pause.

• Maybe you’re redefining who you are, now that the roles of “mother,” “carer,” “corporate ladder-climber,” or “always-put-everyone-else-first-er” are fading.

• And maybe you’ve told yourself you need more time.

But what if what you really need… is one brave moment?

Here’s the reframe:

Don’t wait to feel ready. Be willing to feel unready and show up anyway.

That’s where the magic is. That’s where you are.

Whether it’s making a bold decision, starting a business, joining a community, or finally putting your needs first…

You don’t need confidence to begin. You just need the courage to begin. The confidence will catch up.

So, let’s make this real:

Think of one thing you’ve been putting off because you don’t feel ready.

Now ask yourself: What would happen if I just began?

You don’t have to leap the whole staircase. Just take the first step.

That’s how momentum builds. That’s how transformation begins.

Final thought:

You are not late.

You are not behind.

And you are absolutely not too old to start something new.

Confidence is built. And you, my lovely, are a brilliant builder.

Transforming Midlife - May 2025